


Searching

by Lingering_Entropy



Series: Entropy does Inktober [1]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: A Pinch of Angst, Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-02
Updated: 2017-10-02
Packaged: 2019-01-08 00:11:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12243318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lingering_Entropy/pseuds/Lingering_Entropy
Summary: Jesse's looking for something and after a long hard search he finally finds it.





	Searching

**Author's Note:**

> This is more prose than narrative but I hope you like it. It's my submission for Inktober with the prompt "Searching".

He was always looking for it.

In Deadlock people fit together like a kid super gluing his favorite figurine after it shattered. Jagged, not quite all there, but close enough to work. Wasn't always sexual, not even usually, but everyone always packed in close, no matter what was going on. Partying, gunfights, robberies, anything they did together was done _together_. Made joining feel like being part of a family that actually cared even if they didn't. Made you not care who or what joined long as they were part of the gang and didn't cause trouble. Made it easier not to notice when one or two dropped dead from the pack.

Harder to find in Blackwatch. You cared about the individuals more, but it was kinship than skinship with them and while it felt good to have space at first it got lonely real quick. He got in trouble more than once for bringing people back to his dorm room or arriving late or sneaking in at the asscrack of dawn looking rumpled and well fucked. Reyes understood in some way, let him get away with more than he probably should have.

Being on the run was the worst though. Too many times he was ratted out by lovers with soft smiles and sharp eyes, too many times he got attached only to be chased out by authorities, too many times getting hopeful only to have it dragged away by circumstance to keep it up.

So he got lonely, got drunk, got used to it. 

Running with the new Overwatch wasn't his first choice but hell if it didn't feel damned good being close to people again. Some of them understood like Reyes did. Hana was on him all the time, physically dragging him places he was already going to, using him as a head or leg rest in a kindness hidden by a dismissive attitude. Angela made him do check ups after every mission where they'd mostly spend the time talking, sitting together on a cot shoulder to shoulder and getting caught up. Lena launched herself at him at every opportunity, for hugs or high fives, a few times even a two handed push to throw his balance when she was pissed at him for some stunt he pulled that made her worried.

Getting drunk with Hanzo was his favorite though. The man was a handsy drunk and he had very _strong hands_. Whether it was a playful shove, an arm hooked around his neck as they traded stories or a full bodied lean as the night wound down; he couldn't get enough of it. 

That first morning waking up with Hanzo in his bed, plastered to his back, thick arms circling him, it feels like he's found it. Nothing has ever been as tempting as the desire to lay there and never move, no matter how hungover or stiff he is. When Hanzo wakes up he's struck by how afraid he is, terrified he'll lose the thing he's been looking for his whole life. He feels like a fool, a grown ass man ready to get down on his knees and beg. Beg for just one more hour, one more minute, anything Hanzo wants to give him. 

Feels even more like a fool when Hanzo kisses his neck, makes him shudder and leads them easy into a lazy morning round two. Fuck, it's so good. They take their time, press and touch, drag and bite. It feels amazing, nothing has come close to this tenderness, this lingering feeling of warmth and happiness.

Jesse starts to tear up and he drowns them in kisses as hard as he can to hide it but his lips tremble and he's caught. Pulled away to be looked at seriously and given a cursory inspection for injury.

“Sorry. It's nothin’ bad, promise. Was just… don't even know to be honest. I'm not trying to-”

“Let's get a shower and some food. Then we can come back here if you want.” He's spared trying to explain and can't keep himself from nodding enthusiastically so he doesn't bother. Food and a shower is just what he needs but he can't bring himself to move, to let normalcy threaten the intimacy they have right now.

Then Hanzo’s face goes cross like he's trying to make a decision. “If it makes you feel any better, I had the same reaction last night after you passed out.” His heart stutters, hummingbird wings in his chest. He wants to say something but it gets clogged as his throat tightens and he has to grit his teeth to keep from crying again.

That stern face gets even more cross, Jesse just tenses and waits. “I will be honest with you.” It's said like a statement, a decision that has been made for good or ill by a man who has the dedication to rival Jesse's own. “I have been wanting this for a while. Maybe you haven't, maybe you have, but I have been wanting _you_. I do not know if you feel the same but-” It's Jesse's turn to interrupt but this time with a kiss that melts them both back into the bed; unwilling to part until absolutely necessary because _finally_. He finally found it. 

Love and being loved in return, in equal measure.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading and an even bigger thank you to DoctorQui for betaing this even though it's my first fic <3


End file.
